One thing folks in public relations and the media thrive on is giving fancy names to simple stuff. The Amy’s Baking Company fiasco is a case in point. Having been humiliated by chef Gordon Ramsey on the reality show “Kitchen Nightmares,” the owners of Amy’s took to Facebook to respond to their critics. There, they flipped out, doubling down on nastiness and causing the online hatred to spin wildly out of control.

Now, we are told, Amy’s owners must immediately engage expert help to handle “crisis communications.”

As a guy who earns a living in PR and the management of such crises, I’m here to let you in on a secret: We experienced pros who help CEOs, politicians and celebrities recover from blatant, usually self-inflicted stupidity, don’t know much more about “crisis communications” than the average kindergarten teacher. In fact, a stern mother of two probably could handle your next “reputation management” issue with the same deftness as a spokesman-for-hire.

Why? Because successful kindergarten teachers, moms and PR wizards apply the same basic rules to solving festering conflicts. The only difference between a 6-year-old who steals his sister’s Wii controller and Amy and Samy Bouzaglo is audience size – and maybe spelling ability, but let’s not get bogged down in the details.

On the off chance you draw national ire for your stupidity, allow me to save you the hassle and expense of hiring professional help. Here’s what you do, a prescription that will sound familiar to teachers and parents everywhere.

Step one, admit you were wrong. As in, “That wasn’t nice to take your Skittles, Brianna.” Or, “It was wrong to call 6,000 Yelp reviewers ‘little punks,’ then let loose with a string of profanity worthy of a Tarantino film.”

Step two, take responsibility for your behavior. “We should not have lied, claiming our Facebook was hacked. We should not have threatened legal action against all residents of the Milky Way. Our behavior was unacceptable.”

Step three, apologize. And mean it. “We’re sorry for the ill will we’ve created and for the people we’ve offended. As a gesture meant to demonstrate our sincerity, free pizza for all Arizonans tomorrow!”

Okay, maybe I like pizza too much, but you get the idea. The tricky part, however, is what comes next. The bad actor must understand that not everyone will accept this apology – think of this penance as a “time out” for adults – and he or she must handle the ongoing criticism with true grace. This is the lather-rinse-repeat phase of crisis management, one that will last in proportion to the seriousness of the offense committed. The Bouzaglos surely have a tough year ahead. For Jodi Arias, well, there aren’t enough eons in the universe.

The final step is the toguhest of all. Once your crisis ends, you actually have to be nice to people. For most of us, re-reading the Golden Rule should suffice. For the folks at Amy’s Baking Company I’d suggest a few years of psychotherapy.

Either way, it’s less expensive and a whole lot easier than hiring a crisis communications pro like me.

MEDIA ADVISORY

CONTACT: DAVID LEIBOWITZ, 602-317-1414

RETIRED COP’S KIDNEY TRANSPLANT A SUCCESS; ‘ANGEL’ DONOR ALSO RECOVERING WELL;
TWO TOGETHER AT MAYO FOR 10/ 24 PRESS EVENT

BULLHEAD CITY SGT. MIKE NEWMAN NEEDED A MIRACLE;
VOLUNTEER KELLIE BOFF SAVED HIS LIFE

WHO: KIDNEY RECIPIENT MIKE NEWMAN; KIDNEY DONOR KELLIE BOFF; MAYO CLINIC TRANSPLANT SURGEON

WHERE: MAYO CLINIC HOSPITAL, 5777 E. MAYO BLVD., PHOENIX, 85054

Intersection of 56th Street and Mayo Boulevard, near the 101. Enter through main doors of Mayo Clinic Hospital and you will be directed to the Mayo Clinic Education Center.

Mike Newman, a longtime Bullhead City police sergeant, and Kellie Boff, the Bullhead City Chamber of Commerce operations director, once were no better than strangers. Not anymore. Now, through Kellie’s selflessness, they’ve become friends for the rest of Mike’s life.

Boff, 43, donated a kidney to Newman, a 57-year-old police retiree suffering from end stage renal failure. Now, just days after the successful transplant surgery, both recipient and donor have agreed to sit down for follow-up interviews with the Arizona media outlets who covered the story of this “angel” donation.

“I’m still in pain, but I’m doing great,” said Newman. “Kellie’s doing great, too. And I couldn’t be more grateful. She’s literally given me the gift of life.”

Also scheduled to be available for interviews are a surgeon from Mayo, which handled the transplant, and the Arizona Fraternal Order of Police, which has conducted ongoing fundraising to help cover Mike and Kellie’s out-of-pocket expenses.

Interviews will begin promptly at 11 am. Please contact David Leibowitz at 602.317.1414 or david@leibowitzsolo.com with questions or to RSVP.

RETIRED POLICE OFFICER IN DIRE NEED OF KIDNEY, VOLUNTEER DONOR TOGETHER FOR PRESS EVENT

BULLHEAD CITY SGT. MIKE NEWMAN NEEDS A MIRACLE;
VOLUNTEER KELLIE BOFF STEPS UP TO SAVE HIS LIFE

WHO: KIDNEY TRANSPLANT CANDIDATE MIKE NEWMAN; DONOR KELLIE BOFF; MIKE’S DOCTOR; ARIZONA FRATERNAL ORDER OF POLICE MEMBERS; NATIONAL KIDNEY FOUNDATION OF ARIZONA

WHEN: 3:45 PM, FRIDAY, AUGUST 10, 2012

WHERE: MAYO CLINIC HOSPITAL, 5777 E. MAYO BLVD., PHOENIX, 85054 (Intersection of 56th Street and Mayo Boulevard, near the 101. Enter through main doors of Mayo Clinic Hospital and you will be directed to the Mayo Clinic Education Center).

Mike Newman, a longtime Bullhead City police sergeant, and Kellie Boff, the Bullhead City Chamber of Commerce operations director, once were no better than strangers. Not anymore. Now, through Kellie’s selflessness, they’re about to become friends for the rest of Mike’s life.

Boff, 43, will be at the Mayo Clinic Friday to complete medical compatibility testing and to discuss her decision to donate a kidney to Newman, a 57-year-old police retiree suffering from end stage renal failure.

“I couldn’t be more grateful, especially to someone who’s a stranger willing to make such a supreme sacrifice,” says Newman. “Kellie is literally giving me the gift of life.”

Also present and available for interviews will be a medical professional from Mayo, which will handle the transplant; Dr. James Ivie of the National Kidney Foundation of Arizona, to discuss the rarity of Kellie’s donation; and the Arizona Fraternal Order of Police, which is conducting ongoing fundraising to help cover Mike and Kellie’s out-of-pocket expenses.

Interviews will begin promptly at 3:45 Friday, August 10th, 2012. Please contact David Leibowitz at 602.317.1414 or david@leibowitzsolo.com with questions or to RSVP.

Official Statement from the Scottsdale Fraternal Order of Police

The following statement was issued on February 17, 2012, by Ryan McKinnon, Vice President of the Scottsdale FOP:

The night of February 14, 2012, was deeply tragic, as is any encounter that results in the loss of a life. Just as every police-involved shooting is investigated thoroughly and objectively, so will the events of February 14th be investigated. The more than 325 members of the Scottsdale Fraternal Order of Police hope that, as we await the results of that investigation, calm will prevail in our City and no one will rush to judgement about what happened that night or about our colleague, Officer James Peters.

We remind all concerned that justice has at its core facts, not emotions, and that every Scottsdale police officer considers the use of force the most critical decision any law enforcement member can make.

No officer begins a shift knowing how the night will end. But tonight, as they have since Tuesday, our thoughts and our prayers go out to everyone touched by the night in question, from Jim Peters and his family to the Loxas family to the neighbors impacted by what happened before their eyes.

This post requires a preface. As a writer, I’ve never been especially long on diplomacy, but today I’m choosing my words with care. This absolutely must be the case when the subject of these words is Arizona Rep. Gabby Giffords, who is now (as you no doubt are well aware) in the second year of her recovery from a horrific bullet to the brain.

The Safeway in Tucson: The scene of the crime

I have nothing negative to say about Giffords or about her husband, astronaut Mark Kelly. I believe both of them have displayed strength beyond measure in the face of tragedy and a grace so uncommon, I deeply doubt that 99 percent of us could have summoned it. I’m glad for Gabby’s triumphs since that awful 8th of January morning a year ago, and I’m heartened to see that Tucson, too, is well on its way to recovery from Jared Loughner’s evil onslaught.

But, with all that said, I doubt I’m alone in suffering from a degree of “Gabby fatigue.”

Simply put, of late I’ve found myself tired of the endless reportage of minutiae surrounding Giffords’ recovery and wondering (while worrying about my degree of cynicism) about the motives of those who indulge in such hype.

Is this a sort of politics at work, I find myself wondering, hero worship designed to create political advantage? Or is this deification nothing more than the usual selective ignorance we practice constantly in the American media?

Consider the plight of veterans, the severely wounded from Afghanistan and Iraq and a half dozen wars besides. Though their grievous injuries didn’t occur in such a public setting, these men and women are no less courageous, no less determined, no less inspirational than Giffords. All across the country, in medical centers and VA hospitals, we have stories every bit the equal of Giffords’ – and yet they almost never get a single column inch of space, nor a bite of sound on a newscast. The letters of support don’t pile up. The rounds of applause never seem to arrive.

Giffords, meanwhile, fascinates us merely by saying the Pledge of Allegiance.

All of us love a hero, but I also have to wonder when a political hero begins to unravel the process of making laws and governing. Politics, after all, is a business premised on healthy (and sometimes unhealthy) disagreement. In Giffords, we’ve anointed a representative with whom disagreement comes across as uncharitable, mean-spirited or, as in the case of George Morris, himself shot that day in Tucson, something far worse.

“Every time I see them on TV,” Morris told the Republic’s Richard Ruelas about Giffords and Kelly, “it makes me want to vomit.”

Me, I’ll save my nausea for the tawdry and the truly evil, like that mugshot of Loughner’s hideous smirk. My fatigue at Giffords’ press clippings doesn’t mitigate my hope that she has a happy ending. I wish her the very best in her recovery, a return to normal so every day, so regular, that no one sees fit to report it as news.

For more than 10 months since the night of February 25th, I’ve wanted nothing more than to put this unfortunate assault in the past and to get on with my life. Hopefully now, with the ethics investigation complete, that long-awaited next step can finally happen.

I want to thank the Phoenix Police Department, the city Prosecutor’s Office, the members of the Arizona Senate Ethics Committee, all the witnesses and the independent counsel for their diligence and their compassion. Together with my family and friends, I believe now it’s truly possible to move forward in a positive direction.

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
December 5, 2011

Contact:
David Leibowitz
(602) 317-1414
david@leibowitzsolo.com

12,500 REASONS TO VOTE NO: ANTI-BILLBOARD CAMPAIGN AMASSES 12,500 SIGNATURES BEFORE WEDS. COUNCIL VOTE
BALLOT CAMPAIGN GATHERS STEAM AS CITY HALL SEEKS TO EXPAND BILLBOARDS; PRESS BRIEFING AS 12/7 COUNCIL VOTE LOOMS

PHOENIX, AZ – Just two days before a crucial Wednesday vote of Phoenix City Council – a vote that could drastically expand enormous billboards all over the City – the campaign to let voters ban new billboards in Phoenix will brief the Valley media about a significant milestone: Already, only three weeks into the campaign, Save Phoenix Views has collected more than 12,500 signatures to put the initiative on the ballot.

“We want to make sure the Phoenix City Council hears us loud and clear before they vote Wednesday: Residents don’t want new billboards near their homes or spoiling our mountain preserves and beautiful views,” said Jim Mapstead, volunteer chairman of Save Phoenix Views. “We don’t need more 70-foot-tall TVs on a stick to distract drivers or more eyesores to ruin the beauty that makes Phoenix special.”

The Save Phoenix Views initiative – which needs about 25,000 signatures to get on the ballot – bans the construction of new billboards in the City as well as the modification or conversion of existing conventional billboards into digital billboards. The ballot measure will have zero impact on on-premise business signage.

The Phoenix City Council is currently scheduled to vote on a new, more liberal set of billboard regulations at its December 7, 2011 meeting. That proposal, which would open up new freeways to billboards and which includes loopholes that could vastly increase the number of billboards in the City, prompted the initiative.

“This new law is exactly the opposite of what the City should do. Instead of potentially adding hundreds more billboards, Council should restrict new billboard construction,” said Mapstead. “The unfortunate thing is, their failure will force voters to hold a special election to do their job.”

Mapstead, the campaign chairman, will be available to discuss the vote and the initiative at a signature gathering station in Phoenix.

WHAT: MEDIA AVAILABLITY AND BRIEFING ON ANTI-BILLBOARD CAMPAIGN
WHO: Chairman Jim Mapstead and Save Phoenix Views signature gatherers
WHERE: Mesquite Library, 4525 E Paradise Village Parkway N, Phoenix 85032
WHEN: Monday, December 5, 2011 from 10 am to 11 am.

For more information, please contact David Leibowitz at 602.317.1414.

# # #

For immediate release – September 15, 2011

Arizona Fraternal Order of Police Applauds
Guilty Verdict In Georgia Baker Murder Case

State Lodge Remembers Fallen DPS Officer Chris Marano

PHOENIX – The Arizona State Lodge Fraternal Order of Police and the fellow officers who served with Arizona Department of Public Safety Officer Chris Marano believe justice was done today, with the conviction of Georgia Lynn Baker in the murder of Officer Marano.

Baker was convicted today on all three criminal counts she faced for the incident that claimed Officer Marano’s life, including a charge of first degree murder, one count of theft of means of transportation and unlawful flight from a law enforcement vehicle.

Officer Marano, 28 years old and a father of four daughters, was a three-and-a-half-year DPS veteran when he was killed on December 17, 2009, in the aftermath of a freeway pursuit that took place while Baker was high on drugs. A Navy veteran, Marano was a model officer during his time with DPS, as well as a good friend, a valued colleague and a loving husband and father.

“Chris was everything we ask DPS officers to be,” said John Ortolano, President of the state FOP lodge. “He was strong, kind and courageous. All of us hope that today’s verdict brings some comfort to the Marano family and to Chris’ many friends and fellow officers. We need to thank the detectives of DPS for their hard work on this case, along with the prosecutors who won at the trial and the members of the public who came forward as witnesses and to support the Marano family.”

Chris is survived by his wife, Shelly Marano, and their four children, all under the age of 10. Shelly is a Correctional Officer with the Arizona Department of Corrections currently assigned to the Lewis Prison Complex.

John Ortolano, President
Fraternal Order of Police
Arizona State Lodge

Stopped in at the Phoenix City Hall voting center this morning to cast my vote for the city’s next mayor. I felt kind of bad doing it, because I very nearly woke up the sleepy polling volunteers. I was in and out in 3 minutes, since I was the only voter in the room. That was long enough to have the following pithy conversation.

Gee, this bunch can't top the Cardinals' ratings?

Me: “So you don’t look so busy. Was it like this Saturday, too?”

Old Tired Lady: “Yep. Saturday, we had 14 people stop by all day.”

Nowadays, the vast majority of Phoenix voters vote by mail, as Lynh Bui’s story from azcentral.com this afternoon explains. The headline: “Phoenix turnout already exceeds last mayoral election.” As Lynh explains it, we’re actually trending toward a relatively busy 2011 election, compared to years previous:

More than 105,000 voters have turned in their early mail-in ballots and more than 3,000 have voted in-person for the Phoenix mayor and City Council election.

The more than 108,000 ballots cast so far in this election means the city already has surpassed the nearly 98,000 ballots that were cast in the last mayoral race four years ago.

I guess that’s supposed to feel like good news, but to me it’s cause for despair … mostly because I enjoy dabbling in statistics. I know — there’s lies, damn lies and statistics. But here’s one way of looking at Election 2011:

Total population of Phoenix, per the 2010 census ……. 1,536,630.

Voting age population of Phoenix, 2010 ………………….. 1,091,360.

Number of folks who actually registered to vote ………… 650,000 or so.

Number of registered voters who bother to vote ………… 150,000 or so, or a “better than expected” 24 percent turnout.

You follow I’m sure: In the sixth-largest city in America, the race to run the place for the next four years will only manage to interest about 14 percent of those who could vote — and less than 10 percent of residents overall. Here’s a bit of context for you, by way of comparison:

As bad as the Arizona Cardinals were last season, they still managed to entice about 20 percent of the Valley’s households to watch them on TV every Sunday. The moral to the story? Maybe someone should have persuaded Kurt Warner to run. Or maybe this race could have used more cheerleaders and beer and fewer direct mail hit pieces about non-issues like the City North vote.